its so fluffy i wanna dieee!!!

woah ... a long time sinced i blogged..

needed a place to let go ... and this is the place i could think of ...
been feeling really tired lately with life itself... going through something really hard
in my life now... theres so many feelings and i just dont know where to start...
srsly ... what do i really wan ... i dont know myself ... what do i really really want... ?
brandon... whats wrong with you... its that thing that i thought i have over comed that came
back to hunt me... i miss my daddy real bad .... seeing my friends .. who can go out as a family for dinner ... having their daddy sent them to school and fatch them ... seeing a family going to chuch tgt .... i miss the times ... really hit me real hard... where i myself now ... eating dinner alone in a quite house with no one around... going home on the train alone .. having to squeez with so many people... going home to a empty house .... i just feel so alone and lonely.... i know i have u God ... my spirit is filled with ur love .. and i thank you for that ... but my flash is just o so weak ... im still human u know... i need that love so badly .... that pain i have in my heart .... everytime i think or see it...
im tired ... so tired ... just wanna numb myself ... work is the only thing i can do to distract myself ... i really hope ... all these just go's away ... so that i can move on ...

God ... even when im going through all these ... i choose to love =) thank u for loving me also ...

i wish i had someone to hold ... :')